I skimmed over my Friendster Blog and I saw some of my "cheesy" old posts... well, talking about blast from the bitter past, that blog (and not this one I'm using right now) must have the title of Negative Thoughts Dumping Ground.

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ReaLLy Let Go??

(posted: September 02, 2005)
WhEn YoU lOvE SuM1,
Nd DaT sUm1 nVr gVe SuMtIn n rTuRn,
DnT QuIt...
FoR DeR WuD CuM A TyM DaT DaT SuM1 wUd lUv u tOo
dEy sEy dAt dEr r tInZ WoRtH FyTiN FoR..
WoRtH DyIn fOr..
wOrTh sAcRiFiCnG FOr...
BuT WaT F U CnT TkE D UnBrBlE PeYn neMoR?
UvE Fot, dYd NsYd, aNd sAcRiFyCd EvRyTiN
JuSt 2 b wId hIm
WuD U cOnTnIu?
oR ReAllY lEt gO?
eVn dOw HeZ OlReDi pRt oF Ur lYf
It hUrTs
KnWiNg dAt hIs eYeS r oNlY 4 HeR
Nd dAt hE CuD GvE HiS lYf oNlY 4 hEr
4 HeR, FoR HeR AlOnE..
wAt bOuT U?
Ur rYt?
uR hApiNess?
Ur fiLiNz?
dOeZ D WrLd kNw dAt uR GrSpNg bReAtH?
HeLL nO!
No oNe uNdRsTnDs U...
No oNe fEeLs D WaY U Do..
dAmN..
lOvE..
CaN IdEr MoLd yOU...
Or BrEaK U..
As fOr d oNe hU WrOtE DiS PiEcE
m OlReDi bRoKeN...

(posted: April 2005)
*is it ok to feel afraid?
'coz i am.. sumtymz
afraid of winnin' sumtymz.
m scared 2 luv 2 much,
scared 2 hold on 2 tyt,
wen u may want to be free;
scared of lettin go
wen i nid u to hold me
nd i nid 2 know, if ts ok
to feel afraid,
'coz sumtymz i am
'coz i luv u xo much*
-DauMoNT vAlEnTinE-

it's 7:05 in d evning nd as the cold wind strikes my plain face, i realize sumthin' odd (but not that much).. I feel the hesitation, regret, and most of all, fear, which i cannot hide.
all i knw was to 'dream'.. dream big.. rolla!!! Luvin sum1 is the hardst thing 2 do.. commitmnt is such a waste of tym.
it came 2 my senses dat i was wrong wen i met mr.not-so-perfect. 'ts been a year or 2 but d pain wont go away. He still chose ms. bitchie despite her 'handicaps'. At first i was xo afraid 2 admit dat m folin 4 him, d fact that he's famous makes me shiver...weak. M xo ordnari, no one wud want me...
'ts useless, skul buzzing paralyzd me, controversies kept coming like a bomb.. blabla, dahdah. I dunno how 2 react n dat prticulr ctuation, i cnnot help myself either.. unless u can help me?Really, this s a long story..dat sleeps but soon, it'll wake up...

(posted: April 2005)
Xo LeTs PuT It dIs wAy.
“PuSa, wala Ka nAng PaG-AsA”, DaTz dEiR LiTaNy 4 5 lOnG YiRs nD OlMoSt a hUnDreD TyMz… StILL m SaYiN d smE ThInGs DeN… “I kNoW, BuT KaYa kO Pa”… daRn!!! I keEp On AsKiN mYslF B4 I sleep y m I xO DeNsE??? I ShUd gEt dIs oVr wId nOon pAh. YeAh My fReNz r rYt. M NoT bNeFiTeD, m OlWeYz dAmNd bY DeM… WaTz gOiN On iN2 dIs emPty HeD OF MyN??? DaRn M riLi hOpElEz.
“I nEvR kneW unTl DaT mOmNt hOw bAd iI cUd hUrt 2 lUs suMtHiN U nEvR riLi hAd.”
Ah… AsTeG 2 Ah?? DAt kOwT FiTs pRfCtLy!!! NvR n My hUl lYf nA NgInG AkEn xA… HeZ RhIa’S oFiCl nD MsT TrEaSuRd pRoPrTy… nD DaT HuRtZ bAdLy. UuuU!!!! D FcT Is I DnT GvE A DaMn. DEr r tHiNgZ WoRtH FyTiN FoR… KhT NaH NgAuN DeY’L hVe dEiR BaBy nD DeY’l GeT MarId SuN… I HvE My oWn wAyZ Of gEtIn wAt I wNt… M a bItCh rYt??? I kNw I cN Do dIs…
I WiSh 2 hVe Y OwN IdnTiTy… mYb I cN B “SiMoUnA”, D CoUnTrpRt oF SiMoUn iN OuR El fIlI KlAz… kSeH… hUh?? DaRn… bStAh… tS vEry SiMpLe…
DnT WaNa lUz hIm…